Away from my Childhood
by VeneficaMelody
Summary: A short piece on Faye, after seeing the vacant lot where her home used to be.


**Away from my Childhood**

*** 

Faye stood in front of the barren expanse of land that had once been her home, her heart shattered to learn that it had all been destroyed. Maybe once, she had held the fanciful notion that she could come back and it would all be just the way it had been before. Her beautiful home, the sanctuary of her room, her parents waiting to welcome her... 

But life just didn't let her have her fairy-tale ending, and she knew that it was just the way of Fate. Life had never stood still for her before, so why should it now? 

Walking away from the vacant lot, she came upon a piling of stone, covered with ivy and ravaged by time. She could remember the old-fashioned wishing well, with its wooden crank and leaky bucket. She and her mother had played a game by wishing on it each time they walked by, and whispering secrets to each other when the wish actually had come true. Now, it was just a pile of rocks. Peering down into the dark gaping hole that still remained, she reached down and grabbed a pebble. Dropping it, she waited for a few moments before hearing the reassuring _plop_ that showed water was still evident there. 

For some reason, it reassured her that at least a small part of what had been her life was still remaining. Meeting Sally Young had been a true eye-opener. The girl she had remembered as stuck-up and always with a 'holier-than-thou' attitude in high school had been reduced to an old woman in a wheelchair. But she did have a legacy of her life. The grandchild who had come seeking her... 

Even seeing that obvious portent that what she remembered was no longer there, Faye hadn't wanted to listen. If she believed hard enough, maybe it would all still be there. But her hopes had been dashed in the end, as she had always known they would be. Looking down at the wishing well that held such fond memories, she sighed and pushed her hair out of her eyes. It was time to let go of a young girl's dreams. 

Time to live. 

Spike had always known, she supposed, that she was still living in a fantasy world. That she didn't really belong on this plane of reality. And she certainly didn't belong on the plane of reality that Spike's soul drifted towards. So where could she go... to belong? Maybe Spike had always seen that she was more of a child than an adult, and maybe that could be contributed to the years she had spent in cryogenic hibernation. But what if she hadn't been put into the frozen sleep? Would she still act the same way, feel the same way? 

Sighing, she looked up at the sky, seeing what looked like shooting stars, but knowing that they were still the meteors from the accident falling to earth. When she was a child, phenomenon like that in the sky now were only seen at night, and even then very rarely. But now, when she should be old and hobbling on a cane or confined to a wheelchair, she was still in her prime and experiencing a whole new world. Was it fair? She didn't know. What she did know was that she didn't want to be remembered as the "Ice Queen Revived." It was a demeaning title, but not altogether inaccurate. 

Looking down at the dust surrounding her, she grimaced. Earth was no longer as she remembered it. It wasn't a place she wanted to be. Noticing a gleam near the edge of the ivy that was hugging the well, she brushed aside the dirt and stared down at an old-fashioned dime. Woolongs were the current money of the star system, but something as simple as a dime still survived in a planet that should be long-dead. Shaking her head, she rose from her kneeling position and stood before the well. 

Gripping the dime in a fist, she took in a deep breath, which was saturated by the dust around her. Choking back the urge to cough, she closed her eyes and thought hard. Reaching out, she held her hand suspended over the mouth of the well. After a few tense moments, she opened her hand and watched as the dime fell, as if in slow-motion, into the blackness. Hearing the satisfying sound of it hitting water, she nodded once in satisfaction. 

A wish sent out into the world of dreams. One last foray into the world of childish dreams before she set out into the 'adult' world. Spike would be proud, maybe, but it didn't matter. He had ignored her long before this. 

Walking away from the site of all her childish dreams, she strengthened her resolve and stepped into the world where she would grow up. 

*** 

**Author's Notes**: This was just a small thing, written in about 5 minutes. I just needed to get some feelings down on paper, and Faye seemed to be the ideal candidate to write about. ^_^;; It's probably pretty stupid, but I just needed to write it. 


End file.
